A few years ago, I was talking to a friend about a story I wrote about teaching values, at the time I was thinking I’d like to be a children’s author, he mentioned looking into something called SEL or Social and Emotional Learning.
Not being a teacher, and being rather naive, I had never heard of this, so I did a little research, this was what I found;
“Social-emotional learning (SEL) is the process of developing the self-awareness, self-control, and interpersonal skills that are vital for school, work, and life success.
People with strong social-emotional skills are better able to cope with everyday challenges and benefit academically, professionally, and socially. From effective problem-solving to self-discipline, from impulse control to emotion management and more, SEL provides a foundation for positive, long-term effects on kids, adults, and communities.”
So in my head alarms are sounding, flashing lights are going off and I’m wondering why on earth this is not on the front page news, on every TV and magazine from here to Timbuktu?
Surely this is the answer to society's problems? They have found the secret to a happy successful life. WOO HOO!! Right? Umm wrong!
So, it turns out that Social and Emotional Learning has actually been known about for a very long time, as far back as Plato in fact. I feel a little silly for being so late to this party. But it did strike a chord with me. A very deep chord that is still ringing to this day. I spent the next few years writing and illustrating more stories, working on other things including starting a family, but I kept learning more about Social and Emotional Learning.
What are the skills of Social and Emotional Learning?
Social and Emotional Learning is broken down into a group of skills, known as the 5 competencies:
Self- awareness
Self- management
Social awareness
Relationship skills
Responsible decision making
These core skills are further broken down into more defined skills like Self-confidence, Self-motivation, Stress management, Appreciating diversity, Relationship building, Teamwork and many others. These all help to build the basis of our core values. Basically, who we are as people.
Reading to a library group with Kaia listening and joining in.
Again, with the alarm bells!
I am now a mum to a very adorable and emotionally erratic toddler called Kaia, but just like you, I want to be the best mum I can be. I want to be there to show her all the ways to deal with her emotions and help her to grow into the most amazing person I know she can be. For me, that entails giving her the best possible set of skills that will ensure the best chance at a happy, healthy and successful life. I know firsthand you cannot prepare a child for life’s ups and downs. I grew up in a single-parent family and suffered bullying. But with the right resources and just a little bit of knowledge I know I will be doing the best that I can for her.
Mental Health and Social and Emotional Learning
Bullying is an awful issue that impacts the mental health of so many children. For me, it was also an awful experience, thankfully for only a short while, but it still made me hate myself so much I didn’t want to go to school at all. However, looking back on the experience, I feel very lucky, it was sorted out quickly and only lasted a few months, plus it was before the dawn of social media. I do not think I would have had the social and emotional skills back in the mid-90s to survive cyberbullying.
And that brings me to a very sad statistic. So many children right now are being bullied physically and via online platforms, and so many do not have the skills to cope, giving rise to the highest level of child suicide this country has ever seen.
“The suicide rate for young females is now at its highest rate on record. ”
If that doesn’t break your heart right now, then I don’t know what will!
What upsets me the most is that bullying is just one area where SEL has a direct impact on a child's mental health. Social and Emotional Skills help children to become resilient to many other damaging social behaviours, including substance abuse and addiction.
Developing Emotional Intelligence?
Many young people in the UK are suffering from issues that I’m sure could be addressed if their own emotional intelligence was nurtured and developed from their earliest years.
Teaching children to understand, process, and adapt to negative emotions like loneliness, exclusion and anger towards others helps them indefinitely. Social and Emotional Learning directly contributes to high emotional intelligence and a far greater chance of happier, healthier and more successful lives for our children. Which, let’s face it, is all any parent wants for their children.
I believe that the core of Social and Emotional Learning starts with teaching our children how to connect to each other in healthy, meaningful ways. This is best achieved by starting as early as possible in a child’s life. Once these core skills are mastered, a child entering into education today will have a far greater chance of living a healthy and successful life once they reach adulthood.
Improving the success of Social & Emotional Learning
SEL promises so much but currently, it fails to deliver on all sides. I’m currently researching and working to improve this situation. So far, I have found that there are many different factors that go into the success of SEL education, including the parents, teachers and resources just to name a few. It's a huge subject but one I feel is very worth exploring further.
My contribution right now comes in the form of resources. I create stories and activities that are combined to help parents and teachers learn and demonstrate key social and emotional skills so that children can learn directly and intuitively.
If you would like to follow my journey and stay updated with what I find, plus get access to free resources for your children then please sign up for my email newsletter.