Below is a list of 7 amazing emotional resilience skills that you can teach your children. Children with high emotional resiliency have the best chance of a happy and healthy life and can be a buffer against stress and depression.
As a new year gets going, it’s a great time to learn some new skills and break old habits. Let’s take a look at seven important skills you can teach your children today.
Competence
Competence is about decision-making. It is a vital skill that enables children to take control of their lives. If they can make balanced decisions, they can choose what happens to them in relationships, work, education and health situations. If a child never develops competence, they are unable to make important decisions, and can't improve their life. This makes children reliant on those around them, less independent and capable. You can help your child develop this vital skill today by playing fun games that encourage and develop decision-making, for example games like Noughts and Crosses, Musical Chairs or Hide and Seek.
Confidence and
Self-esteem
Confidence creates motivation, it allows children to feel like they can succeed -so the task is worth trying. Confident children make friends more easily and feel more like part of their community. If a child lacks this skill they can become withdrawn and opt out of situations which involve interaction with others. Self-esteem is built over time through having lots of positive experiences with others, it is very important that a child feels self-worth so that they are able to stand up for themselves in situations where others might try to take advantage. Try this Confidence Building game here to help build up this key resiliency skill with your children.
Connection
It is very important that a child establishes an emotional connection with at least one caregiver. This allows 'mirroring' of emotions where a child can learn the language to express themselves – 'I love you; I love you too.' Emotional connections build self-confidence and self-worth and provide a safe base for children to practise their emotions with people outside the family. This leads to healthy relationships later on in their life.
When they are aware of the emotions of others the child has the opportunity to experience empathy – an essential skill for later life. They can then protect themselves emotionally by choosing to be around people who express empathy to them.
Click here to find our picture book on Finding Connection and here to download more information and activities on Connection.
Character
A child's character is a little bit determined by their genes and a little bit determined by those around them. They need good role models to learn certain skills like problem-solving, a sense of humour and optimism. Problem-solving is essential for independent living and is a learned skill. A child needs confidence to even attempt to solve a problem and resilience to cope with inevitable failures. A sense of humour is important to deal with stress and it is an excellent social skill to make spending time with others easier and more fun. Optimism makes a task easier to start as a child can imagine a positive outcome. It also inspires them to try again if a first attempt is not successful. Click here to find fun craft activities to help your child build their character.
Contribution
When a child contributes to an event or group, they gain a sense of belonging and being part of a community. When they contribute to a cause greater than themselves, they can learn to see the bigger picture of their environment. This stops a child becoming selfish and focused only on their desires. Being able to determine how and when to contribute is a very important skill so the child can learn about the value of time and effort. Group projects are excellent for building team skills and gaining confidence in their own skills.
Coping
With the amount of emotions that a human can feel, it is no wonder that children feel overwhelmed. They need help when they experience strong emotions for the first time, like loss, grief, love and fear. If they are shown how to deal with these strange new feelings, they are better equipped for the next time it happens. Being out of control is a central issue – children need lots of positive practice when they are young so that they are not dealing with new feelings as an adult, or worse – so that they don't develop bad patterns of dealing with stress. Click here to find our picture book on Loss & Grief and here to download more information and activities on Loss & Grief.
Control
Self-control is essential so that children can function in society. A child needs to know that certain feelings are distressing – like frustration/disappointment, but that those feelings will go away and they are in charge of that process. In order to maintain healthy relationships, a child must have the self-control to prevent them from becoming selfish or inconsiderate to others.
There are many games that can help children develop self-control, including:
Jenga
Don't Break the Ice
Red Light Green Light or What Time Is It, Wolf?
Freeze Dance
Simon Says
All of these games can be great for helping children develop self-control and improve their ability to listen and follow directions.
We hope this has been helpful for you and your family and remember that all children learn at different rates, but if you are ever worried about your child’s mental health, visit your GP or talk a health advisor.
