Effective Strategies for Managing Meltdowns and Other
Important Transitions.
Oh my goodness! Can you believe it's already the end of the term? It feels like just yesterday I got my little one settled into preschool, and now they're closing for the holidays!
If you're anything like me, you're probably feeling a mix of excitement and apprehension about the upcoming summer break. This is especially true for us because it's our first experience with school holidays. My 3.5-year-old daughter started preschool three days a week in January, so we haven't even completed a full year yet. I must admit, though, that I'm enjoying the extra time in my week to work on my own projects. It's been a refreshing break from the constant snack requests and TV demands.
However, whether we're ready or not, the end of the school term is approaching. So, I've decided to stop hiding under the covers and mentally prepare myself for what lies ahead. Gathering some helpful tips to navigate this transition. We'll explore effective strategies not only for managing end-of-term meltdowns but also for other important transitions such as bedtime routines, screen time management and changing activities.
So what do we mean by ‘Transitions’?
The International Journal of Transitions in Childhood, Vol.1, 2005 states that,
“Transitions have been defined as phases of life changes connected with developmental demands that require intensified and accelerated learning and that are socially regulated (Griebel & Niesel, 2004 Welzer, 1993).”
It goes on to say that, “Transitions can stimulate further development, but under adverse conditions lasting difficulties can occur, leading to problematic behaviour with disadvantageous consequences for the child.”
So basically any time your child changes from one situation, activity, or event to another this is a key opportunity to help them develop regulation skills that will benefit them throughout their lives.
So what does all this have to do with building resiliency? I hear you ask. Self-regulation is a key factor in building resiliency. The better we are at self-regulation in all aspects of our lives the better we are at coping with change.
Let’s take a look at of End-of-Term Meltdowns:
As the final days of the term draws near, it's not uncommon for children to exhibit unexpected behaviours ranging from dramatic outbursts to tearful moments. But why do these end-of-term meltdowns happen? According to research, several factors contribute to this phenomenon, including academic pressures, the anticipation of the holidays, and emotional exhaustion.
It's important to remember that you're not alone in experiencing these challenging moments that sometimes seem to defy all logic!
And it’s not just the school holidays that can be a challenge to navigate. Let’s have a look at some other common transitions that cause parental heartaches since their invention.
Bedtime Routine Transition:
Transitioning from busy daytime activities to a calm and restful bedtime routine can sometimes be a challenge for both children and parents. However, with a well-planned transition strategy, you can help ease this process. In our house, we start with the seven o’clock rule, which is when we begin telling our daughter bedtime is happening in 30 minutes. Then we begin tidying away the extra toys, clothes, food and anything else that is out, back into its place, while she is having her final drink of milk for the day, and slowly being ushered into the bathroom to brush her teeth and have a ‘before bedtime’ wee.
If we make it this far without a meltdown, I know she is ready and willing to go to bed, most evenings this is not the case! But she is only 3.5 and we just stay consistent but gentle with what’s happening. She understands what’s going on but when tired it’s easy for little ones to become dysregulated, so now I know this is the time when mummy cuddles are the most effective and not getting to shouty or upset myself has a massive impact on her transitioning into bed calmly.
If you can start by gradually winding down stimulating activities as bedtime approaches, it helps a lot. This can include turning off bright lights, engaging in quiet activities like reading or listening to soothing music, and establishing a consistent bedtime routine. Communicate with your child about the upcoming transition and involve them in decision-making, such as choosing a bedtime story or picking out pyjamas. Another tip I have, is saying ‘Do you want to brush your hair first or teeth?’ she loves to be in control.
By creating a predictable and calming routine, you provide a sense of security and signal to your child's body and mind that it's time to unwind and prepare for a good night's sleep.
Screen Time Management Transition:
In today's digital age, managing screen time transitions can be a significant concern for parents. Transitioning away from screens, whether it's from watching television, playing video games, or using electronic devices, requires setting clear boundaries and implementing effective strategies. Start by establishing consistent screen time rules and communicate them with your child. Use visual cues, such as a timer or a designated screen-free zone, to indicate when screen time is coming to an end. Engage in alternative activities that capture your child's interest, such as outdoor play, creative projects, or family game nights. By providing engaging alternatives and setting limits, you can help your child transition away from screens while promoting healthy habits and balanced activities.
Above all, whatever you have said, 5 min, 10mins or 2 hours, when it’s done, don’t back down. There is no wiggle room for one more episode or just 5 more minutes. It’s a slippery road to certain disaster! Stay in control of screen time and let your children know you are in charge here. It’s not to be cruel it’s just that the effects of prolonged screen time on children are well documented as having negative effects in many aspects of their development.
Changing Activities Transition:
Transitions between different activities throughout the day can sometimes lead to resistance or difficulty for children. Whether it's transitioning from playtime to mealtime or from outdoor activities to indoor tasks, having effective strategies in place can make these transitions smoother. First, provide clear and consistent expectations by using visual cues or verbal reminders. For example, using a visual schedule or a timer can help your child understand the upcoming change and mentally prepare for it. Offer choices when possible, allowing your child to have some control over the transition. This was a game changer for us our little girl loves to be independent and in control, so giving her choice, enabling her to be able to wash her own hands before we eat, all helps her have some control over meal times. Additionally, make the transition fun and engaging by incorporating songs, games, or other interactive elements. By making transitions enjoyable and empowering for your child, you can help them navigate changing activities with greater ease and cooperation.
Effective Strategies for Managing End-of-Term Meltdowns and Other Transitions:
1. Creating a Transition Plan:
Just like any time you have avoided stepping on Lego pieces while tiptoeing around your peacefully sleeping child, it's best to transition slowly and gradually into any type of transition. When it comes to summer holidays, start with winding down school activities in the days leading up to the end of term, allowing your child to mentally prepare for the changes. You can even involve them in creating a fun countdown calendar, marking off the days until the summer holidays begin. Click here for a blank calendar template to fill in week by week. With other types of transitions, it can be as simple as having a timer or gently reminding your child of what is about to happen next give lots of lead-in and explain what is going on and what you expect of them.
2. Promoting Relaxation and Self-Care:
Encouraging mindfulness exercises and engaging in relaxation activities as a family, such as yoga or meditation, can help both you and your child find moments of calm amidst the chaos. Remember, taking care of your own mental well-being is just as important as nurturing your child's.
3. Balancing Structure and Flexibility:
Creating a loose routine for the holidays provides a sense of stability, but it's also important to embrace spontaneous moments and fun surprises. Allowing for flexibility opens the door to new experiences and joyful memories. Who knows, your impromptu living room dance party might become a new holiday tradition! Or dancing into bed overnight might just work to burn off some end-of-the-day energy and ease the tantrums.
4. Encouraging Physical Activity:
Plan outdoor activities that allow your child to release pent-up energy.
Organise family-friendly sports competitions or enjoy nature walks together. Channelling a child’s energy into physical activities will not only uplift their mood but also improve their overall well-being. And who can resist a day at the beach? Refocusing time away from screens is also a great way to reconnect with your children being out in nature talking and observing the natural world has many positive effects on both children and adults. And if you have a particularly active little one who struggles with whining down at bedtime, try a structured workout before bed, here’s a toddler workout that might help. Alternatively, it might be to do with not being mentally stimulated enough during the day, try a few brain games, we are doing a few phonics and sounds blending before bed at the moment it is helping a lot with calming down and focusing any mental energy she not used up during the daytime.
5. Nurturing Emotional Well-being:
Provide opportunities for self-expression through art, writing, or other creative outlets. Engage in heart-to-heart conversations, allowing your child to share their thoughts and feelings about the term and the upcoming break. You might be surprised by the profound wisdom that emerges from their young minds. Or not!
6. Injecting Humour into the Transition Process:
Now, let's add a dash of humour to the mix! We've all had our fair share of holiday mishaps, and they often make for great stories.
Remember that time you got car sick and accidentally ruined your sister's unopened birthday present? Oops! Or the time you sat on a wasp and got stung on the bum? (Both true stories) Laughter has a magical power to lighten stressful moments, so embrace imperfections and find humour in the chaos.
By implementing effective strategies such as creating transition plans, promoting relaxation, balancing structure and flexibility, encouraging physical activity, and nurturing emotional well-being, we can navigate all types of meltdowns and other transitions with a little more grace and humour. Don’t expect perfection, I firmly believe being a parent means letting go of any form of perfectionism. We just do the best we can at any given moment. But knowledge is power and the more you can understand yourself and your child the easier it is to navigate parenting at this time.
These strategies are not only supported by experts but also grounded in my own real-life experiences. Remember, meltdowns are not a reflection of your parenting but rather a universal phenomenon experienced by practically everyone, anywhere who has ever had to take care of a child. So take a deep breath, approach transitions with a light-hearted perspective, and create joyful memories that will last a lifetime.
Remember, each child is unique, and it may take some trial and error to find the strategies that work best for your family. With patience, consistency, and a supportive approach, you can navigate these transitions and create a more a little more calm for everyone.
How do you feel about the end of term? Are you excited to get going on holiday plans or stressing that it means certain chaos and total dis-regulation until September starts?
What are your strategies for bedtime transitions?
How do you manage screen time in your house? Let me know in the comments below.
I hope this blog has helped you to tackle transitions in a new way, from school holidays to bedtime we can all benefit from knowledge to help you and your little stars.
References:
Griebel, W. & Niesel, R. (2002a). Co-constructing transition into kindergarten and school by children, parents, and teachers. In H. Fabian & A.-W. Dunlop (eds.). Transition in the early years (pp. 64 – 75). London: RoutledgeFalmer.
Griebel, W. & Niesel, R. (2003). Successful transitions: Social competencies pave the way into kindergarten and school. European Early Childhood Education and Research Journal, Themed Monograph No.1 “Transitions”, pp. 25 – 33.
Griebel, W. & Niesel, R. (2004a). Transitionen. Weinheim: Beltz.
Griebel, W. & Niesel, R. (2004b): Transition competence of the child’s social system. Poster presented at the 14th Annual Conference on Quality on Early Childhood Education “Quality curricula: the influence of research, policy, and practice.” Malta, 1 – 4 August 2004